Purgatory’s Shadow

Notes

· There are lots of links to religion so I will tweak them to try not to disrespect any cultures and I promise I will eventually make new worlds for heaven and hell.

A story based around the rapture (the biblical idea of an Armageddon and that all of the good people will be taken to heaven leaving all of the others in purgatory to have their fate decided). After man begins to defy the laws of the gods, the world is destroyed. The faithful go to heaven and the rest of the world is left in purgatory, where their fate is decided by the gods. Slowly many are being taken down to hell and survival seems futile.

The game follows a group of three childhood friends…

Neito: The protagonist. Aged around 16-19. A strong willed and neurotic character. Works as a farmer on a farm in his town. Often feels obligated to stick up for the little guy and often gets punished for it.

Kona: Aged around 18-21. Since Neito was a kid he has acted like an older brother to him. They are childhood friends. Whilst Neito wants a quiet life inside his small town, Kona wants to adventure around the world.

Natari: The love interest. Aged around 16-18. The daughter to the owner of the farm that Neito works on. Also childhood friends, she was found in the woods by Neito and Kona when she was 9 and they have been friends ever since.

A few weeks into the rapture Natari’s father is taken to hell by the reapers (a group of fallen angels who bring the unworthy to hell). Everyone knows that the end is inevitable so Kona and Neito decide to try and save Natari and themselves by going on a pilgrimage to get to heaven. A long the way there are new characters, plot twists and parts that branch off from the main story.

Unlike lots of other apocalyptic games, this isn’t going to be full of wastelands and fire. Instead it is going to take place in the same world they live in but mysterious and new at the same time. It’s old and timeworn like it had been left for centuries are also satanic beasts also with the intention of bringing people to hell.

So far this is a very loose idea and I’m open for criticism and change. Whilst I am passionate about this project I do believe I haven’t worded it very well so far and if this even slightly appeals to you please contact me on the subject.

I believe this is the section you are looking for: http://www.gamedev.net/classifieds.

You sound new to game development, in witch case you will need programmers, asset artists(2D/3D depending on your idea), sound artist, level designer and some one who knows a bit of marketing.

Luckily some people are familiar with more than one aspect of game development, so you could make a good game with only two or three other developers.

I’m open for criticism

We will see.

You're looking for writers AND designers, then what is it that you do for the game?

This idea shows potential but it is still unfledged, so you can't say that you are the developer as this still needs development. I could get a similar plot from filtering down almost any JRPG and this is just a base for a plot, so this doesn't make you a writer.

Often feels obligated to stick up for the little guy and often gets punished for it.

This is a good point, if played well. "No good deed goes unpunished" this is a sad truth of live.

A simple example is when I child confesses to doing something bad like smoking, the parents want to teach the child that smoking is wrong and so punishes the child.

The lesson the child learns instead is never to confess to doing something wrong, this leads to a lot of development issues where the child doesn't take responsibility for there actions. Also the origin of the blame game.

in the same way if you fail to show this point properly your game can seem childish, embarrassing or just plain stupid.

Since Neito was a kid he has acted like an older brother to him. They are childhood friends.

For the love of games don't say it show it.

I hate games where you are told who the protagonist's friends are, when people are really friends it is easy to tell.

The show it don't say it, rule is a good idea for all parts of a game.

Natari: The love interest. Aged around 16-18. The daughter to the owner of the farm that Neito works on. Also childhood friends, she was found in the woods by Neito and Kona when she was 9 and they have been friends ever since.

Poor Natari, no identity of her own. Her existence depends on Neito having a interest in her and being the daughter of the "owner".

Found in the woods at nine, is she the daughter of the owner?

Your asking a support character to be a main character, this will cause a lot of plot holes.

Give her some personality of her own, make her a real bitch.

I can see it now: Natatri, pampered by the live style of being the daughter of the riches, crooked and child labouring farmer in the land; is a extremely beautiful girl. On her ninth birthday Natari threw a tantrum and hid in the forest, because she didn't get the pony she wanted; with her father also being cheap on top of every thing else. The farmer then demanded his labourers to find her, it was the unlucky Neito and Kona who found her. Neito crushed on her immediately, poor Kona helplessly tries to save his friend from Natari who abuses Neito's love for her and gets dragged along with the two.

The rapture starts and the reapers capture the farmer and takes him to hell for all he did wrong.

Natari fears that her pleasant life style will reach a end. Decisive she bullies Neito into helping her save her dad. Kona seeing it as a chance for adventure and fearing what she would do to Neito, joins them.

Now you have three character all ready for development. Neito has a opportunity to grow into a man, no longer just a tool. Kona will face conflict as he makes the choice between friendship and adventure. Natari facing true hardships learns to be a better person, the journey to heaven reflects her own soul.

Unlike lots of other apocalyptic games, this isn’t going to be full of wastelands and fire.

This is a great choice. If the events around the story is compelling it keeps people hooked, also a game happening during a apocalypse sounds really fun.

I'm sorry Scouting Ninja, but a lot of that criticism is unfounded.

(1) You can be a writer or designer and work with (and look for) other writers or designers, nothing wrong with that.

(2) He's not a developer because he's still developing the concepts for the game? So when a game is in development, anyone working on it is not a developer because it still needs development? That makes zero sense.

(3) The parenting example you gave is not an example of some “sad truth of life”, but of bad parenting. That aside, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished is a trope that can be played straight, subverted, inverted, averted, played for laughs, lampshaded ...

(4) Informed Friendship is a trope that can be played straight, subverted, inverted, averted, played for laughs, lampshaded ... There are a lot of Informed Attributes that can be used, actually.

(5) There are so many possible Love Interests, including Designated Love Interests (the “just accept they love each other even if it makes zero sense” kind), and there is nothing wrong with characters being outright used as Plot Devices.

(6) Not every character needs character development. Not every character needs depth. Static Characters and Flat Characters are tools as much as Character Development and Rounded Characters are.

Don't criticize the person, criticize the writing. And certainly don't criticize the person when your criticism of his writing seemingly mostly boils down to, “Those tropes suck, my tropes are better.” Tropes are tools. Tropes are not bad (or good). Tropes can be played with in a lot of ways.

Michael, if you are passionate about your concept, then go for it. Follow your heart! And as you go, always continue to learn about drama and the tools (i.e., tropes) you can use. The more consciously aware you become of the tools you have, the better you will know how and when to use them to support your vision.

I like your concept so far. You have a central conflict that drives the plot, so now can really build on that and create a story.

Good luck with your devin'!

Chris

I'm sorry Scouting Ninja, but a lot of that criticism is unfounded.

Yea, but he did ask for criticism and I feel it is best to exaggerate now then to find that one of those plot holes is more than a leak.

(3) The parenting example you gave is not an example of some “sad truth of life”, but of bad parenting. That aside, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished is a trope that can be played straight, subverted, inverted, averted, played for laughs, lampshaded ...

I didn't want to use something that could match the story, finding the answer on your own is better than being told what it is.

This one I feel safe about, as it applies to Kona mostly. when helping out the little guy, you often make them feel like the little guy, especially when there is some kind of clear measurement like age.

(4) Informed Friendship is a trope that can be played straight, subverted, inverted, averted, played for laughs, lampshaded ... There are a lot of Informed Attributes that can be used, actually.

If I wasn't clear, this is something I don't like personally not even when it is used to the story's benefit.

I also find it ironic that stories that use informed friendship well, are the ones emphasizing that there isn't really a strong friendship at all; or maybe I like them because of it.

(5) There are so many possible Love Interests, including Designated Love Interests (the “just accept they love each other even if it makes zero sense” kind), and there is nothing wrong with characters being outright used as Plot Devices.

Yes designated love interests aren't bad if the character is only a support character or a plot character, however if thy feature as a main character then thy need more.

Often when a designated love interest happens to be a main character thy will develop a personality of there own, one that is no longer compatible with the protagonist.

(6) Not every character needs character development. Not every character needs depth. Static Characters and Flat Characters are tools as much as Character Development and Rounded Characters are.

True, if the story is focused on something like the events happening in the world; having underdeveloped characters will only comment on the importance of the world.

Considering that MichaelKeay.Writer gave us more information on the characters, he points that thy are the key focus.

(1) You can be a writer or designer and work with (and look for) other writers or designers, nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with that at all.

Teaming up with any other writer means that you are no longer THE writer, it means you are the co-writer or even a collaborator.

Knowing the role you play in the making of a game is important. Asking some one to join in on a story is a big risk, you will often not like the way thy change your story. It is the reason I made such a large change to Natari, to show just what others can do when you give them power over your work.

(2) He's not a developer because he's still developing the concepts for the game? So when a game is in development, anyone working on it is not a developer because it still needs development? That makes zero sense.

What I am saying is that short piece there isn't a game in development, he clearly hints at more and I am challenging him to show his hand.

What is it with Natari and the woods, clearly it wouldn't have been mentioned if it wasn't important.

Don't criticize the person, criticize the writing. And certainly don't criticize the person when your criticism of his writing seemingly mostly boils down to, “Those tropes suck, my tropes are better.” Tropes are tools. Tropes are not bad (or good). Tropes can be played with in a lot of ways.

I am not criticizing the person, I don't even know him. I am criticizing the artist for his poor presentation of a game idea, that he hold so dear that he created a account to present it to developers.

Second you seem to take my criticism for my opinion.

My criticism is: This is a game idea that has been attempted a lot, because secretly we all harbour a similar story in our harts. This however means there is no place for doing it haphazardly, succeeding with a plot like this is a exception not the rule. Fail and you will only be a another game in the bargain bin or lost in the abyss of the internet.

My opinion: I love these kind of stories and thy are great for games.

The young hero, dashing friend and nice girl trio work well, almost all the stories I like feature them: Naruto, Harry potter, The wheel of time, Light bringer, Gentleman Bastard, Star ocean, almost every final fantasy game and many more. Thy work well because thy cover a lot of the personal social needs that people have, let's face it who wouldn't like a loyal friend and a girl who likes you no matter what you do.

So MichaelKeay.Writer, make the game I will probably be one of the fans; you already have me fretting over the details of the plot.

Not making it would be a greater sin, than making it and failing.